Saying Goodbye to Your Partner in Life

By Kim E. Morrison

In a lifetime a person will experience a lot of loss, see a lot of people they loved or have loved pass away, but none will be more stunning, numbing, soul crushing, or life altering as losing the person you have loved, had children with, and built a life around for decades. In a single instant you feel as though the weight of the world has dropped on your head because in that very same instant you suddenly realize that your life has changed immeasurably and will never be quite the same again. The person that loved you despite your imperfections, the person that was by your side through hardships, and helped you endure many other personal tragedies on life’s journey is gone and despite well meaning friends and relatives trying to cheer you up or being there to help you deal with the aftermath you will never in your life feel more alone and that generates a fear of the unknown and in turn that creates a number of questions: What do I do now?, How do I live without him or her?, Why did they have to go now?, and the list questions never ends. Unfortunately, many of those questions do not have answers and that only adds to the pain and sorrow that you are now enduring. Religion helps some folks at these difficult times and that is wonderful for them, but the phrases they toss out like “they are in a better place,” or “it is all God’s plan” really do not do the rest of us much good because God’s plan no matter how wonderful it may be is hurting us beyond words at this point in time and that so called better place better meet expectations because at this moment we can think of no better place than having our loved ones in our arms.

The painful reality is this is road we will all have to travel eventually, and the tears and pain will then be someone else’s burden to bear. However, it is all on our porch now and no matter how much time passes you will still miss your spouse, the passage of time will slowly ebb the tide of tears, but even years later your eyes will still well up with tears and your voice will crack when a memory of the person you lost engulfs your mind. You move forward or transition to the next stage of your life because you have no choice, but to do so. However, you will never not feel some sadness when the hand that held yours, your partner in life, the love of your life, or whatever comes to mind because your heart and soul is forever imbued with their memory and that is the way it should be.

My cousin Donna lost her husband yesterday after a long illness and I wrote this short piece for her. Even though I know from personal experience that no words help in the early stages of grief

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I have been writing quite a number of years. I have been published numerous times and I have won several writing awards throughout the years. I won one for poetry just last year from a state contest through my college, the College of Central Florida. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from that same college in 2015 with a degree in Mass Communications. I now have a BA in Psychology from Saint Leo University and I am working on a Masters in Forensic Psychology at SNHU.

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