In memory of Rosemary
By Kim Morrison
Life is a symphony of chaos where some of us can hear the music with in it and dance to it while others are at least able to bounce their heads to it well enough to be able to live their lives. In contrast, there are other people who struggle mentally from some organic reason who may never dance or hear the music amid the chaos then there are other people who may have once danced or heard the music, but some mind numbing period of their life, a life altering tragedy, or vile violent act by another caused them stop hearing the music just long enough for them to be swept up by the chaos that they never quite regain their ability to hear the music let alone dance to it. Many of these people are victimized again, in some sense, by unanswered questions or what I would call the endless “why’s” running around in their head and occasionally they come to the point where they begin to contemplate suicide to either silence the demons, questions, in their heads or for whatever reason they come to a mental reckoning and decide that life as they know it is no longer worth living. It is at this point that their contemplation turns into commitment and they succeed in their attempt at suicide.
Unfortunately, the friends, family, or co-workers of someone who committed suicide are stunned or shocked by what they have done because some did not even know the person had mental issues while other people never thought their mental issues were bad enough to cause them to commit suicide. In contrast, those close to them that knew they had problems will wonder why they did not see this coming or if there was something, they could have done to stop it, but the fact is you will not see it coming or be able to stop it because they will do everything to keep you from interfering if they are committed to the task of taking their life. Everyone one out there knows someone suffering from mental illness, but they did not learn about it because the person with mental illness ran up to them one day and said I have a mental illness, but I am getting help for it just as no one struggling mentally is going to let you known that they are planning or going to take their life. The most you will ever know if you are lucky is that they had contemplated suicide once or twice in the past. The problem is people with mental illness often suffer in silence because there is a stigma associated with mental illness, so it is not something that is going to be talked about over coffee at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, but perhaps it should be.
If you are struggling with mental illness depression, anxiety, or anything else, please seek out help before you become a painful suicide statistic. Many of us have inner demons we wrestle with daily and we cannot always deal with them alone, so let someone try to help you at least hear the music well enough once again to allow you to bounce your head to life’s symphony of chaos and if you are really lucky just maybe you will find someone that can help you dance to it again.
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