Words Unspoken

Anger shrouds my sorrow,

a storm rages deep within.

Questions without answers

swirl around my mind.

Damn! This emotional confusion.


Why the sacrifice?

Why the trade off?

Was it loneliness?

Was it greed?

Damn! The sadness I cannot feel.


Did you love me?

Were you proud of me?

Did you even care?

Why didn’t we talk?

Damn! Your legacy of silence.


Rage! Rage! Against the death of the light.

I curse the words unspoken, the truth not shed.

Why God? Why? Why must we part before the heart to heart?

Diana

In a small village there grew

a beauty pure and true,

a flower beyond pristine,

a shy rose not yet seen.

Blessed are those who can hear the screams of flowers picked to soon.


A woman grounded in earthly hue

came to light in Royal Blue.

A lady of depth and substance

towered above pomp and circumstance.

Blessed are those who can cradle a wilted body without pause or fear.


With our heads bent in silent contemplation,

we bid farewell to the conscience of a nation.

To “England’s Rose” we say good-bye,

good-bye to our lovely Princess Di.

Blessed are the wingless angels that walk in the valley among us.

Why

Why?

Why me?

Why you?

Why do I?

Why do you?

Why now?

Why later?

Why didn’t you?

Why didn’t I?

Why didn’t you know?

Why didn’t I know?

Why did it have to be this way?

Why did it have to be that way?

Why did you stay?

Why did you go?

Why did life go this way?

Why did life go that way?

Why? Why? Why?

The tormenting word of questions

rarely ever lets a thinking mind rest

for the minds desire for answers is insatiable by nature.

The minds quest for discovery is unyielding and unending

for every answer found only gives birth to more questions.

No wonder madness grows taller in the thinking mind

the soil is far less fertile in the dull dim witted mind.

A School Bus Drivers Worst Nightmare

From a statistical standpoint a school bus, with, or without seat belts, is the safest vehicle your child will ever ride into, and that includes your own car. However, statistics are meaningless to the parents of those children who have become victims, or casualties of school bus, or school bus stop related accidents. When these accidents occur, people always wonder why? How could this have happened? Could it have been prevented? The truth is every bus procedure, and rule regarding the safe transportation of your child could be followed letter perfectly, and still something at any place, or at any time could just simply go wrong.

However, there are things that other drivers, and parents can do to make the bus trip for all our children a little safer. First, do not follow a school bus to close because in case you haven’t noticed our big yellow vehicles make frequent stops. Please take notice of the lights across the top of the bus in front, and back. The amber lights means caution we are on approach to a bus stop. When the bus is stopped the red lights come on, and the stop arms extend out. Some drivers apparently think our amber lights means speed up to get around the school bus before the red lights come on because this extremely dangerous practice is witnessed all to frequently. Another extremely dangerous practice done by drivers is running through our stop arms completely. Another, less frequently observed driver error, is getting ahead of us to beat us to a turn the instant they see our directional signal come on. Do not ever do this period. School bus stops are usually placed a few hundred feet away from street corners. There may be children somewhere near the corner your getting ready to careen around, and you will most certainly hit them if they are in, or near the edge of the road. Drivers must keep two things in mind here. First, regardless of the number of rules there are, children don’t always do what they are told to do. Two, rural roads, paved, or unpaved, never have shoulders, so expect children to be very close to the road in these areas.

Parents you have a responsibility to help us keep your children safe as well. First, please tell your children to stay out of the road while waiting for the bus, and please tell your children not to ever run, or even walk toward the bus while it is still moving toward the bus stop. Anyone of these actions could be a stage setter for a most horrible tragedy. When a child runs toward our bus, it forces us to make a quicker less safe stop. Even if your child gets on and off the bus right in front of your door, please do not let them dash for the bus until it is completely stopped because we will still stop short out of reflex to prevent them from running into one our many blind spots. If your child must cross the street to board the bus, tell them look for traffic then look at their bus driver, and wait for his, or her nod before they proceed across the street because from our vantage point in the bus we can see things that you, or your child may not notice. Second, please tell your children never to run back to the bus after they exit. Most elementary bus drivers are on guard for “run backs” because this is something small children are more likely to do than high school students, but the consequences for either could be lethal. Keep in mind that once the students exit the bus, and are clear of the bus from all visible points. The bus driver is preparing the bus to continue to the next stop by putting the bus back in gear, releasing the parking brake, and shutting off the red bus stop lights. If a child runs back for something, and the driver doesn’t see them in time because of a distraction inside, or outside the bus, the child could be hit, and killed. Third, tell your children not to reach for their friends in the windows after they get off the bus. If they were to get their hands caught in the window even momentarily, they could fall, and wind up being crushed by the rear wheels before we could stop the bus. Fourth, tell your children not to stick their heads, hands, arms, or hair out the window while the bus is moving down the road. This action is commonly seen, but extremely dangerous, and potentially deadly. If your child had their head out the window of a school bus traveling at the common residential speed of thirty miles per hour, and was struck flush by a tree limb only one inch in diameter, the impact could literally crush your child’s head. It is not uncommon to see a School Bus breeze by things very close. Sometimes traffic, or road conditions forces us to make tighter turns, or come closer to things than we prefer. We do watch for children popping their heads out the window, but we can’t see everything all the time.

These are just a few of the many challenges school bus drivers face each, and every day. I don’t think parents, teachers, or administrators can quite grasp what it is really like driving down the road with forty to seventy children behind you with no one to watch them except yourself through a mirror that you can only scan in intervals in a vehicle that is large enough, and heavy enough to literally go through a house. After thinking about this, it kind of makes you wonder how we do it every school day, and make it look way easier than it really is. The answer rests in what it takes to make a good bus driver. In my opinion, a good school bus driver is one part training, one part ability, and two parts caring. You can be trained, you can acquire ability, but the minute you stop caring you need to consider a career change before you really screw up, and hurt somebody. I have been a school bus driver for Citrus County for several years now, and I like my job despite the negatives. I transport children to, and from Citrus Springs Middle School, and Citrus Springs Elementary School, and I care about each, and every child I transport even the little darlings I have to frequently write disciplinary referrals on. The mere thought of just witnessing one of the kids from my bus getting seriously injured on the bus, or at a bus stop literally scares me. Some might say that I care more than the parameters of my job requires. I could not disagree with that more. For it is this level of caring that instills the fear that keeps me on guard, and ever vigilant in my goal to make every trip as safe as I can for all the children that ride my bus.

Like most bus drivers, I do my job knowing full well that I am never more than a   heartbeat, or distraction away from catastrophe. Regardless of my training, my ability, or how much I care for the children that ride my bus, I still need the help of everyone to prevent my worst nightmare, and that is having too kneel down beside the broken body of a child who once affectionately, or respectively called me “Mr. Kim.”

Natural Seduction

In the nights gentle quiet,

feel the whisper of breeze

the encompassing swirl

the warmth of its caress.

Inhale the ocean’s brine,

feel the sea’s divine touch,

languish in the rapture

of your own renewal.

Witness the shadow dance

of the native beauties,

hear the beckoning swish

of their alluring limbs,

succumb to the motion

of their natural rhythm.

On the sand all fall prey

to their erotic sway.

The Actress

Behind the theatres locked doors

a small stage stands silently longing.

Its curtains flung open wide,

like arms yearning a lovers embrace.

A young actress has left her impression.

Her poised foot steps are still felt

on the creaky, but stout set floor.

Her lilting laugh lingers in the air,

like cigarette smoke in a tavern.

The sincere inflections of her voice

bounce off the walls in endless repeat

each echo more beautiful than the last.


For now, she has bid this theatre farewell

in search of new roles on a larger stage.

Yes, she ought to be in pictures.

No part is too big, or too small.

Perhaps…Someday…If there is truth in destiny,

she will captivate the hearts of millions.



Behind the theatres locked doors

a small stage remembers with a smile

the days it held a star on the rise.


I wrote this years ago for an aspiring young actress that I did a stage play with at the Citrus County Art League. The play was “I ought to be in pictures,” and the young lady played the part of my daughter. The italicized lines in the poem were two of her lines as well as part of the title play.

A First Love Gone Rogue

A first love gone rogue,

a passion extinguished,

a true heart crucified

writhing and wrenching

under deception’s spikes

on infidelities twisted cross.


A secret kept, a truth untold.

A new chapter unfolds.

A young man’s search

for identities answer

awakens a hurtful memory

of a first love gone rogue.


Will the destroyer of hearts

from one man’s distant past

steal a victim from the present?

A simple test will put the question to rest.

Will the truth sought be the one found,

or will this be the lie most profound?


To love and to loath

A first love gone rogue.

Understanding Grandma

With one stocking up and the other rolled down

the old lady waddled her way to town.

Her flowered dress sported stains of breakfast.

Her hair was matted, like a birds nest.

Lipstick circled her lips, like a circus clown.

The painted smile veiled depression and a frown.


While quizzically looking up at her face,

the small boy clutching her hand tried to keep pace.

As she shuffled her way down main street,

she chatted with anyone she chanced to meet.

Often she would point with pride

to the small boy by her side.


As the boy grew older, he began wondering

why she couldn’t tell they were pretending.

Couldn’t she hear their humoring lies?

Couldn’t she see the laughter in their eyes?

Couldn’t she sense the embarrassment in the air?

Perhaps she couldn’t care? Perhaps she wasn’t aware?


Being locked in a child like state

may not be the worst fate

because children can make up places

where there are no staring faces.


This is the most profoundly personal pieces I have ever written because it is about my own Grandmother Racheal Bone who suffered from mental illness and depression all of her life. I wrote this piece about thirty-years ago and until now only those close to me have ever seen it or knew that it even existed because these are the kind of things I never like to share, but if it helps someone else “understand” someone close to them then it will be worth it.

The One You Never Thought Cared

We are a hand that opens a door

We are a voice that says good morning

We are a teacher without a lesson plan

We are a counselor on the move

We have two ears that hear and listen

We have two eyes that never see enough

We are known by first name to those who matter

We are unknown to the many who complain

We are not valued by those we work for

We are worth more to those who depend on us

We make perfect trips every day and no one notices

We make one mistake and the tears of many will fall

Our worst fear, our nightmare could come to pass

Our pain most profound is one few will ever know

We are the folks you never thought cared

We drive the big yellow bus