NEVER LET THE LAUGHTER END

Behind the “Nanu nanu”

Behind the “Good Morning Vietnam!”

Behind the “Oh Captain, my Captain!”

Behind the “run-by fruiting”

Behind the “Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.”

Behind the unique uncompromising

larger than life talent that spoke these words.

Behind the seemingly unstoppable awe inspiring

comedic genius of our time.

Behind the man who

with a single facial expression or a few words

could leave us weakened, breathless,

and teary eyed from laughter.

Behind the brilliant quick thinking comedian

who captured our hearts and souls

in the rapture of a chaotic form of humor

that never failed to eclipse expectation.

Behind this kind endearing well loved soul

who touched so many with his presence

was a man haunted by a demon

that many still refuse to accept or acknowledge.

Behind the echoes of laughter and makeup

of our most prolific clowns

there can exist a sadness so deep and profound

as to be beyond tears reach.

Behind any door standing just out of our view

could be a beast called depression laying in wait

to steal the laughter from our ears and the joy from our hearts.

From Pretty Pink Bows To Baby Bassinets

Well little girl you are in high water now and the sand is moving swiftly under your feet. You never expected to get pregnant at fifteen and now you are scared, confused, heartbroken, and you are lashing out at everybody because you do not know who to trust at this point in time. You do not know if even those closest to you are offering you wise words of advice, deliberate words of coercion, or self-serving suggestions. Unfortunately, not even the most well intentioned person can answer the intensely personal questions that are in front of you now, but that will not stop them from trying because even the most intelligent people in your life are often too arrogant in their own beliefs to realize that attempting to answer these kinds of questions for you is kind of like a cowboy trying to rope the wind. However, many will still try because they care about you in some way and many out of concern for you will think they have all your best interests at heart. Yes little girl there is a world of folks out there just chock full of good and bad intentions, yet few understand that the road to perdition can be paved just as well with either. You never intended to get pregnant, but you did just the same and now you are at a crossroad in your young life that even adult women have a hard time dealing with. However, despite your tender age, you are going to have to wipe the tears from your big beautiful blue eyes, find some big girl panties to put on, and sit down and render your first real adult decision on an issue that will alter the very course of your life and the lives of others, no matter what you decide.

Stop saying to yourself why me, why now because it is you and it is now. Stop thinking that you are too young to make this decision because you thought you were old enough to make the decision that put you in this situation to begin with and now you have to deal with the consequences of that choice. Stop wondering what to do and thinking that your prince charming is going to walk back into your life and make this decision easier for you because he is just as worried, scared and confused as you are right now, so chances are real good that there will be no glass slipper in your story Cinderella. You can wish and hope all you want for the fairytale solution to appear in one hand, but it is all but certain that the other hand is going to get full first and you are not going to like the aroma. Some would say that you are a little girl making an adult decision, but the reality is you tossed away the little girl card the moment a real baby with real needs appeared in your dollhouse. No sweetie you are a big girl now whether you like it or not or you are ready for it or not and the situation you are dealing with is as real and emotional as it gets. Do not be over whelmed by all the advice people have offered you, but consider it all when you make your decision and pay no attention to the religious nonsense some folks like to spew because it is designed more to make you feel guilty or to scare you than to help you. The people around you, like it or not, are going to have to support your decision because it is yours to make and yours alone. Nobody can hold your hand on this one because regardless of what others might think, right or wrong, you are the one that is going to have to live with the decision you make here. This is a solitary walk on the beach moment for you and during that walk you are going to have to explore not just what is rattling around in your head, but what is down deep in your little heart because the best decisions you will ever make in your life or for your life must always come from both. One of life’s most challenging tasks is constantly trying to find the harmony between one’s head and one’s heart. Blessed are those rare few times one can turn the chaos and discordance of life into a beautiful symphony.

Listen Up Kid

Never let anyone tell you that you can’t learn. Never allow people to make excuses for you. You can break the wall. You can make it through. Yes it may look impossible, but you can persevere. The biggest dreams are crafted from the smallest threads of hope. Keep trying, keep pushing along, and prove to the world that you can overcome. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t make it. Don’t allow them to group you. Don’t allow them to define you by their standard. Show them that you too deserve to be at the table. Learn to despise hope-sucking phrases like “working poor.” These devices are designed by over educated people to categorize people into groups, so they can find reason for or excuse for future failure. Calling you “working poor” now, means they expect you to fail later. Do not let them win. Try to prove them wrong at every turn. Learn everything you can. Read every book you can find. Show them that you are equal to any task. Take pride in yourself and your own individual accomplishments, no matter how small. Don’t expect a nod of approval or a pat on the back from anybody for anything you accomplish or achieve. The approval of others may be heartwarming, but these pleasantries are incidental, and nonessential to your ultimate success. Your success as a human being rests entirely on your own self-approval.

Now, I am not saying that you should walk around telling everybody you meet how great you are. Self-approval does not mean being a conceited self-absorbed jackass. Self-approval simply means that you internally value yourself enough to recognize that you deserve to be in the game in the first place. The first step toward self-approval is self-respect. People with no respect for their selves live self-destructive ineffective unfulfilled lives. Doing drugs or drinking until you are within inches of alcohol poisoning on a regular basis shows a stunning lack of self-respect, not to mention a gross lack of courage. People who respect themselves don’t need to hang with the so-called cool crowd because they already are cool even if they don’t realize it. It is cool to stand firm against the unrelenting wind of peer pressure. It is cool to stay the course despite all the lures that attract you to do otherwise. It is cool to be individual in your thinking, and actions. What isn’t cool is waking up out of a self-afflicted drug, or alcohol coma after ten, or twenty years only to discover that you have flushed a good portion of your life down the crapper. Self-respect is the antidote to self-destruction. People who don’t respect themselves are destructive to the people around them as well because in order to respect anything or anyone else one must first learn to respect one’s self.

The second step toward self-approval is except no excuses.  The only thing worse than someone else finding excuse for your behavior, and/or failure is your own pitiful attempts at doing the same thing. Win, lose, or draw, don’t make, or accept any excuses for yourself. One of the many ways people try to excuse themselves is by saying they had a tough childhood for one reason, or another. Waa! Waa! Welcome to the club of millions you big dumb baby. Cry a river, build a bridge, and then get over it. Self-reflection is a psychological “Marlboro” addictive, and dangerous to your mental health. Replaying stupid painful crap in your head that you were too young to stop or do anything about then will not help the person you see in the mirror now. Leave those ugly old dogs on the porch where they belong and get on down the road. Think future, not past, you are the Captain Kirk of your own Enterprise tell Scotty to beam you up from planet self pity before there is no intelligent life left in you.

The third step toward self-approval is you must never accept, or settle for less from, or for yourself if there is even the faintest chance that you may regret it later. Your life isn’t a garage sale item; you can’t start out asking a dollar then settle for fifty cents and then later have the gall to wonder why your life didn’t turn out the way you had wanted it to. Life may indeed be like a box of chocolates and you might not know what you’re going to get inside each morsel, but settling for the crappy discount chocolates in the ugly box when a super sized box of Whitman’s is well within reach is just plain stupid. Do not make Forrest Gump like decisions with your life; no one is really that lucky. Fear people who frequently use words like destiny or destined because they are psychotic nimrods with reverse Chicken Little disorder. Instead of waiting for the sky to fall on their heads these lunatics are waiting for something positive to simply fall into their laps. Don’t wait your life away, the only two things people are truly destined to do are pay taxes and die. Destiny is nothing but a dressed and sexed version of the word chance, but chance favors only the individual who is prepared to take one.

Every person is endowed with a gift that is unique to him or her. Life is the journey that each of us takes to figure out what that gift is and how to use it. Some people are successful at their tasks, and some are not, but we all take the ride just the same. The successful are those who took their chance, those who attempted the impossible, those who tried to rope the wind; those who, despite all the obstacles that life through at their feet, dared to dream their dream, not someone else’s. Most people falsely measure success by the fortune or fame one attains when what is truly important is whether or not you had the intestinal fortitude to step up, and take a shot at your dream in the first place. If you try, win, lose, or draw at least you will have the ride of your life to remember and that is far, far better then spending even a single moment of your life wondering “What If…?” Regardless of what others might tell you along your journey, the most important thing in life is not just the number of breaths you have in it, but the number of times it leaves you breathless.